i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
