her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
