it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
