im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
