Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
