Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize