where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
