I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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