you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Life is so much better after having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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