it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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