I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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