Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
