brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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