I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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