you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
