theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
