Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize