if i died would you start the facebook group?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
