i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
only you would photoshop your dick
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
