so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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