Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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