So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.