We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
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Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
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we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.