That's when you crack a 10am beer
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...