And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.