Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer

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(630): View more from Illinois

It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares

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(224): View more from Illinois

My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.

(312): View more from Illinois

Elaborate

(224): View more from Illinois

Strip Mario-Kart

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(218): View more from Minnesota

He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?

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(516): View more from New York

I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?

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(541): View more from Oregon

stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it

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