I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
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Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
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I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's