Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.

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(209): View more from California

just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment

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(503): View more from Oregon

when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(678): View more from Georgia

I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.

(770): View more from Georgia

WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!

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(512): View more from Texas

I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat

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(254): View more from Texas

when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.

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