If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
