stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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