you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
