Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize