in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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