I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
