Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
