I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i just google imaged poop.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
