he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
