Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
