I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
