He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
