Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
