You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i came on her dog
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
