I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize