there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
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