Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
