Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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