it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just found puke in my bra..
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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