You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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