I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
