I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
The uberlube is also flammable
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
