I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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