Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
