we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
