I'm eating all of the evidence.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
