she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
it's like iHOP with fire
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
