There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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