I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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