worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
