is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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