two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Randomize
