i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
