We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize
