Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
YAS. BRING CRAB.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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