At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
