is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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