her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
