I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
